I'm OUT! ;-)
Sorry for going radio silent for so long guys, so much has been happening!
Where to start?
I think I mentioned that I was looking for a part time job to supplement my 9 to 5 income, I got called in for an interview at a local grocery store.
I was wearing my daytime boi work clothes, I've been wearing women's jeans and tennis shoes to my day job for some time, and I had a bra on under my button down shirt. So, when I got to the parking lot of the store, I slipped in my breast forms, popped on my short reddish wig, put a chain on my neck for a bit of bling, and some lipstick and went in.
The manager seemed absolutely delighted with me, we chatted for a while, she asked me some typical customer situations and how I'd handle them, I think I impressed her. Something must have, cause when at the end I asked her when she thought she was going to make a decision on hiring, she said she was going to offer me the job on the spot!
So, I've been training as a cashier at the store dressed femme as Stef, and it's a real HOOT. The people I work with are all great and the customers overall are wonderful to deal with. I get occasional wary looks or grumpy folks, but I don't know that has anything really to do with me per se.
I do still get misgendered as "he", "him" a fair bit; but I don't much care. Working on my voice I think will help with that. I get to be on my feet and away from the desk and computer screen and get a bit of exercise. It's all good.
In other news, I've seen a very trans friendly doctor who's now put me on HRT! I've been on for a little over a month. I'll write more about that in another post cause I want to get to the really big news:
I've come out at my day job!
A few weeks back I'd asked my manager for time to talk and we never could quite coordinate a good time to do it. Then we had a session together to do my quarterly performance review (which was excellent, BTW).
At the end he asked whether there was anything else I wanted to bring up, because he recalled that I'd asked for time to talk (kudos to him for remembering that).
I told him I hadn't really come prepared to address the issue, he said to do it however I wanted. I bit the bullet and told him I'm transgender and wanted to come to work presenting female.
He was surprised, but very open and supportive. He asked me for a little time to investigate what needed to happen but that he'd get back to me soon.
In less than a week I had a plan with HR to come out at a time and in a manner of my choosing and was put in contact with another transwoman at a different facility of the company who'd come out a couple of years prior, so I could talk to her about her experiences with the process.
I was stunned by how open and effective the company was about this.
So, long story (not so) short, I ended up composing an email a that I had vetted by HR and my manager to send to my coworkers at the local office (I'll append it to this blog posting for everyone's edification and amusement).
I sent the email out last Friday around 10:30 am; I actually meant to send it later, but accidentally(?) hit Send when I was inserting the distribution list into the To: field :-/.
The reaction of my colleagues was generally supportive and accepting without making any issue of it, which is amazing.
Today is my second day at the office dressed femme. I've used the woman's restroom in the building with no issues.
Yesterday afternoon. when I left the office and went to my car, I pulled down the sun-visor and opened the little mirror to look at myself.
I started to tear up. "You did it Hon!" I said to the me that looked back, the one that was always there waiting for me to discover her.
I feel like I've arrived.
THE EMAIL...
SUBJECT: I have an announcement to make
Where to start?
I think I mentioned that I was looking for a part time job to supplement my 9 to 5 income, I got called in for an interview at a local grocery store.
I was wearing my daytime boi work clothes, I've been wearing women's jeans and tennis shoes to my day job for some time, and I had a bra on under my button down shirt. So, when I got to the parking lot of the store, I slipped in my breast forms, popped on my short reddish wig, put a chain on my neck for a bit of bling, and some lipstick and went in.
The manager seemed absolutely delighted with me, we chatted for a while, she asked me some typical customer situations and how I'd handle them, I think I impressed her. Something must have, cause when at the end I asked her when she thought she was going to make a decision on hiring, she said she was going to offer me the job on the spot!
So, I've been training as a cashier at the store dressed femme as Stef, and it's a real HOOT. The people I work with are all great and the customers overall are wonderful to deal with. I get occasional wary looks or grumpy folks, but I don't know that has anything really to do with me per se.
I do still get misgendered as "he", "him" a fair bit; but I don't much care. Working on my voice I think will help with that. I get to be on my feet and away from the desk and computer screen and get a bit of exercise. It's all good.
In other news, I've seen a very trans friendly doctor who's now put me on HRT! I've been on for a little over a month. I'll write more about that in another post cause I want to get to the really big news:
I've come out at my day job!
A few weeks back I'd asked my manager for time to talk and we never could quite coordinate a good time to do it. Then we had a session together to do my quarterly performance review (which was excellent, BTW).
At the end he asked whether there was anything else I wanted to bring up, because he recalled that I'd asked for time to talk (kudos to him for remembering that).
I told him I hadn't really come prepared to address the issue, he said to do it however I wanted. I bit the bullet and told him I'm transgender and wanted to come to work presenting female.
He was surprised, but very open and supportive. He asked me for a little time to investigate what needed to happen but that he'd get back to me soon.
In less than a week I had a plan with HR to come out at a time and in a manner of my choosing and was put in contact with another transwoman at a different facility of the company who'd come out a couple of years prior, so I could talk to her about her experiences with the process.
I was stunned by how open and effective the company was about this.
So, long story (not so) short, I ended up composing an email a that I had vetted by HR and my manager to send to my coworkers at the local office (I'll append it to this blog posting for everyone's edification and amusement).
I sent the email out last Friday around 10:30 am; I actually meant to send it later, but accidentally(?) hit Send when I was inserting the distribution list into the To: field :-/.
The reaction of my colleagues was generally supportive and accepting without making any issue of it, which is amazing.
Today is my second day at the office dressed femme. I've used the woman's restroom in the building with no issues.
Yesterday afternoon. when I left the office and went to my car, I pulled down the sun-visor and opened the little mirror to look at myself.
I started to tear up. "You did it Hon!" I said to the me that looked back, the one that was always there waiting for me to discover her.
I feel like I've arrived.
THE EMAIL...
SUBJECT: I have an announcement to make
Hello Everyone:
I have been making some changes in my personal life that are having an effect on my appearance, which some of you may have noticed. As this is going to continue and even accelerate, I want to get ahead of that and let everybody know what's going on.
I am transgender. I identify as a woman, and it is my intention to come in to work dressed and presenting as female starting on Monday October 19th.
I've openly discussed the matter with management and HR and we've arrived at sending out this email as the most effective and least disruptive way of getting the word out.
I would like just to start coming into the office as my new self and have everybody get back to work and get on with their lives with as little fuss as possible.
That said; I expect folks will be surprised and curious. I'm open to talking to anyone to address your questions or concerns; so please feel free to drop me an email or stop by. I recognize that this will be a learning process for everyone and I want to be sensitive to that.
If you feel receiving this news in this fashion is too impersonal and I've shortchanged our relationship by not speaking to you more directly, please accept my sincere apologies; it's really only a reflection of my decision to inform everyone at once.
Going forward, in conversations or correspondence with or concerning me, I would appreciate the use of my new name: "Stefanya" or "Stef" for short. Further, I prefer to be referred to using feminine pronouns: she/her/hers.
If you have any company or HR related questions, please direct them to <> in Human Resources.
I want to thank <> Management and HR for doing their level best to make this process about as painless and straightforward as could be imagined.
They stand behind their words regarding diversity and inclusion; I am delighted and proud to work here.
Thank you all for your time and attention.
Warm Regards,
Stefanya
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